I want to share a 30 day challenge I’m going to embark on in the morning. Talk with one stranger a day for 30 days. I found the idea at http://30sleeps.com/blog/2007/08/01/social-skydiving-the-art-of-talking-to-strangers/ while looking for ways to be more comfortable talking with women. I’m getting much better but feel I’ve got a ways to go.
I’ve already made some progress by learning to dance. Talk about overcoming fear (sans alcohol even!) Learning Argentine Tango was what I decided to do to get a handle on the dancing thing. And it worked pretty well. I still have a lot to learn when it comes to tango but I’m finding I’m pretty comfortable when it comes to chatting at milongas. Asking a women out for a date or just to get together, not so much. Dance with her? Sure! Coffee or drinks? <sigh>
I’ll let you know how it goes! In the meantime, check out the post at the link above and browse his site, too. He’s got some pretty good articles.
Update after 1 day:
Even after a day I can see it’s pretty obvious I’ve made progress over the last couple of years. It’s not so much saying hi to random strangers as the social context and allowing conversation to flow. In some situations it’s not a problem in others my tongue is tied in knots.
The difference between when things get gummed up and when they flow is ego. Just keep practicing letting it flow. Getting too attached to wanting to make a good impression is a killer. When I’m not concerned about what I’m saying everything works well. Seeing as few people actually remember what you say anyway you might as well not get too uptight. They remember how you make them feel not the words you used to create the feeling.